


Vibrators

by ceywoozle



Series: One Word Bottomjohn Prompts [72]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: All Dialogue, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-05
Updated: 2016-02-05
Packaged: 2018-05-18 09:48:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5923939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceywoozle/pseuds/ceywoozle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John and Sherlock go shopping.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vibrators

“How about this one?”

“Jesus Christ. Where were you planning on fitting that one?”

“Up your arse, John. Obviously.”

“Yes, thanks, a bit louder. I don't think the couple on the other side of the store quite heard you.”

“Then don't be stupid. Anyway, what's wrong with it?”

“It's bloody enormous.”

“It's not.”

“It's not your arse.”

“Fine.”

“Thank you.”

“How about this one?”

“Too small.”

“What is this, the Three Pigs?”

“Bears.”

“What?”

“Bears. It's the Three Bears. Goldilocks and the Three Bears.”

“Irrelevant.”

“Agreed. Still too small.”

“Fine.”

“.....”

“.....”

“Sherlock.”

“Yes, John.”

“What are you doing?”

“Measuring.”

“Measuring with....”

“I've observed that optimal orgasm for you occurs at two finger widths.”

“Seriously Sherlock?”

“Why wouldn't I be? I thought you liked orgasms.”

“I do.”

“Then what's the problem?”

“It would just be nice if you could talk about me less like a high school experiment and more like...I don't know. Whatever.”

“Whatever?”

“Whatever. Just. Fine. That one. Yes, the two-finger-width one.”

“Excellent. You won't be disappointed. I've already started the spreadsheet.”

“Perfect.”

“.....”

“......”

“Sherlock.”

“Yes, John?”

“I said no to that one.”

“Which one?”

“That one. The one in your hand. The bloody enormous one.”

“Yes, I know you did.”

“Then why is it on the counter for purchasing.”

“Because it's not the optimal width. _Yet.”_

“Oh.”

“I have faith in your abilities, John.”

“Right. Good. Okay then. Sherlock?”

“Yes, John.”

“You know how you wanted to stop by the morgue on the way home?”

“Yes, John.”

“Maybe we could skip that. Today. If possible.”

“Yes, John.”


End file.
